the moment it fell apart
It’s funny and sad
All those years ago before covid
Back in college when we sat on your dirty dorm floor
On that green yoga mat you brought from home
I thought we were close
Because we were sad about the same things
And liked the same Hershey’s chocolate bars
And listened to the same Mitski album that night
And I thought that meant we were similar
But after that rainy night last June
I lost myself
All the mud on my white sneakers
That jacket I bought in the cold
All the fear I felt that night
It became abundantly clear
That whatever I had with you
Was not what I thought it was
And I can’t imagine ever returning to a world
Where you and I would ever be close again
It’s funny and sad
That usually in these things
I blame myself for breaking things
But this time it’s different
I blame you and your carelessness
It was you
In your oversight
In your negligence
In your indifference and nonchalance
Who broke me
And there is no future past that
In the months that passed
I tried to forgive you
And it took everything from me to not act rashly
But after all this time
After the storm calmed
After I moved away
I am still left with resentment
And contempt
For you and your forgetfulness
How I meant to little to you
How inevitable it was
How clear it is now
That our lives diverge