Dear Lana,
I feel so sad lately. I always feel sad but especially lately.
I think something I realized through my therapy sessions is that it’s not so much friendship that I want as opposed to belonging. I just want to belong somewhere, and friendship is just a tool to make me feel belonged.
But I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I think there were a few times in my life in which I felt like I belonged somewhere, but I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. All I have for certain is just myself, and I don’t want just that. I want people. I want people in my life to make me feel as if I belong somewhere, but I don’t have that now. The times that I did have it were short-lived. Now I am living the rest of my life that doesn’t fit my life during these short-lived periods. I don’t want it to be this way. I don’t like it here.
shades of gwei 