I found leftover natty light in this little bag in my closet
It was from high school, when alcohol was considered cool
I saved it up, thinking that I would need it later
There would be a moment when using it seemed right
when the opportunity arose, then I would bring it out

A couple years passed, and I thought that I would remember it
But here it was sitting alone, because I never drank it
I don’t think I touched it since I put it there. A couple
of times I wished I had it on hand. But when it did arise
I would always forget

I don’t need it any more, now being old and all.
I’ve been thinking about how I am
someone who saves. I always wait for the next part of
my life when I would need things more than I do now
There would come a time when things become more clear
I wish that time would come sooner. Then I wouldn’t feel
the need to save anymore. It would be a time
when I finally understand
how to help myself

I can’t help but be wrong in how I lived my life
I often wonder if there would be a time I’m not
It seems so appropriate, so fitting, that my life ended up
the way it has. I am someone who saves. I am someone
who stumbled along inadequacy when I don’t know
if I could have achieved so much more. I question
the life I lived, the life I helped myself with
and I ask myself,
was it worth it in the end?