arrival

I woke up in the middle of the night again. I moved outside to sit on my balcony. I’m reflecting on whether not I have “what it takes” to start a successful business, or whether not I have the stomach to sustain a life full of risk at all. There are so many ways my life could’ve taken, but my current life led me here, for better or worse. I wonder how deterministic my path has been, if I was presented with a different set of choices I would still choose to take the same path. This is the central question of Arrival, and the main character says yes.

I don’t listen to as much music as I used to. It’s not as important to me anymore. I used to be so concerned with my artistic consumption and output, but now I realized it’s not so important anymore. There’s so many things more important to the world than art.

I think it’s interesting how my life has led me here. All the people who have come in and out of my life. My personality trajectory taking me here. One one hand, it makes a lot of sense because my personality growth is deterministic. On the other hand, I wouldn’t have been able to predict that this has been the outcome of my life all those years ago. I recognize the futility of wondering what my life would be like if I had different people influence me on my journey, but it’s one of the downsides of my natural personality to think like this.