Dear Lana,

I’ve moved to SF. I forgot if I’ve mentioned it to you.

Things are a bit lonely here, but it’s also been inspiring artistically. I’ve decided to get back into drawing and violin, letting myself feel my middle school trauma again. I know there’s a trade-off between personal happiness and artistic output, and I’m on the latter end of that right now. It’s fine, I guess. I’m living in a pretty dead part of SF that is two blocks from my office, so I don’t have to encounter a lot of external stimuli on a regular basis. That has made me less sad compared to when I was in college, when there was stimuli everywhere.

I decided to take CFA Level II even though I said I wouldn’t proceed with the curriculum last year. I don’t have friends right now, so I might as well make the most out of my time. My apartment is really pretty, thanks to the various furniture and stringlights I bought from Ikea. It reminds me of what would happen if a tumblr sadgirl grew up to work at a hedge fund.

My goals in life right now are to make a billion dollars and to post thirst traps.

I got more tattoos lately: two on my chest, and a leg sleeve. I haven’t been to the gym in a while because my tattoos have been healing, which isn’t great for my journey to be an Instagram thirst trapper. My local Equinox is opening up again, so I think I’m going to sign up for it. Not sure if it’s worth it, but I’ve always been curious to what a luxury gym could buy me. Hopefully, it would just reveal that I don’t need to go to a luxury gym after all. Worst case, it makes me unable to go to a regular gym again in my life.

I’m trying to sleep earlier, maybe around 11 PM, so I could wake up earlier, hopefully around 5 AM, so I could study and otherwise be productive. I’m getting so old. Mostly, I think this desire is a reflection of my social life. I don’t really have friends right now, so I don’t go out, which means there’s little reason to stay up late at night. I would rather spend my valuable brain power before work than after work. My valuable brain is mine.

I’m not sure how my future here in SF is going to evolve. I’m not really in a rush to make friends, but it would certainly be nice to have them at some point. Not sure where that would happen though. Maybe at Equinox or a climbing gym, who knows. I assume if I get fit enough to post thirst traps, I would make friends then. If not, then I’ll rethink how I approach life, again. But that’s how my life has been ever since I settled down.

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