What is a romantic partner except someone who is responsible for your happiness?

I have always been hesitant to call people friends because what is a friend? The world is filled with indifference. People who come in your life at one point leave your life at another moment. For most of life, you are fending for yourself against demons, both external and internal. People come in when it is situationally convenient for them and leave the next moment when it is not. People often call each other “friends” colloquially, but these words are often meaningless under the scrutiny of actions.

Romantic partners are the solution to a world filled with indifference. Although there are friends who transcend time and distance, they are the exception and not the rule. Friends operate in absence of commitment. Friends are interested in your happiness, but they are not invested in your happiness. Friends do not have a stake in whether or not you are happy. They would like you to be happy, because happy friends are more fun to be around, but most friends are unwilling to make considerable sacrifices to make you happy. Romantic partners are different; they are willing to sacrifice their own happiness for your happiness.

These types of thoughts have dominated my life for so long. Late last year, I thought I was ready for some permanence in my life, but I realized recently that I was not. I don’t crave loneliness anymore, but I feel like I have one more bout of solitude left in my life before I fully commit to a life without individuality, which is what it means to be in a romantic partnership.

The truth about starting a romantic partnership is that you are trading freedom for security. When you are feeling insecure, this is a good trade because you have an abundance of freedom and a lack of security. When you are feeling trapped, this is a bad trade because you have a lack of freedom and an abundance of security. This oscillation occurs for much of our lives in our twenties, but at some point this cycle permanently ends when you partner up and get married and have children. At some point in your life, you have to choose this security permanently to enable you to live the next chapter of your life.

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